


Open minded (question mark)

by Maisie_top_trash



Series: Unseen - Fear Will Lose [14]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Christianity, Depression, F/M, Homophobia, Mental Illness, OCD, Religion, Schizoaffective Disorder, mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8560885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maisie_top_trash/pseuds/Maisie_top_trash
Summary: Unseen Fear Will Lose is a series of single chapter stories showing unseen scenes from the same universe as my main story, Fear Will Lose. In order to fully enjoy these extra bits, I recommend you go and read that first.Fear Will Lose Directed most specifically at Josh, this extract takes it back to the good old high school days. Debby and Josh have a new class mate, and their reactions are going to have long term consequences - but do they make the right ones?





	

"See before I met you Ty, I wasn't the same as I am now, or maybe it's better to say that I haven't been the same since we met. It wasn't that I was a bad person - I never hurt anyone, or at least if I did it wasn't intentional, and I didn't realise what I was doing. I didn't realise a lot. Debby? Now Debby knew a lot, she knew what was politically correct but what really mattered too. She knew how people's heads worked and why people could, uh, could think differently I suppose. And I guess I couldn't back then. But even though she was the way she was, I stayed the way I was too. I knew her, I loved her, I didn't need to change for her. I mean it wasn't that I was closed minded, more just sheltered I guess. And it wasn't a matter of not wanting to meet different people, more that I was always encouraged against it. My mother, she uh, she kept me in a certain mindset, her mindset. And it was you, Ty, it was you who opened my mind to this whole other side of life, this whole other side of me."

 

•|•|•|•|•|•|•

 

  
"J baby, I have cheer practice till late tonight so I won't be able to come round until after dinner." Debby told her boyfriend, whose attention was on a group of boys further down the school corridor.  
"Hmm?"  
"I'm gonna be late to your place tonight because of cheer. Whatcha looking at?" She repeated, reaching up to play with the collar on his shirt.  
"Sorry, yeah okay, just come round as soon as you can because, yanno, I can't stand to be apart from you for long," he grinned, pulling her against his lips.

"And I'm not looking at anything baby,"  
"Are they giving grief to Tommy again?" She half asked half groaned as she saw the basketball team stood surrounding someone backed against the lockers.  
"Yeah I think so, you gonna swoop in like Wonder Woman again?"  
"I'm gonna show some human decency and stop those ass hats terrorising a deaf kid," she told him before walking away from Josh.

Josh lent against the wall with his hands in his pockets and a proud smirk on his face as he watched Debby march over the group of 5 basketball players, all at least a foot taller than her, and start reprimanding them. He couldn't hear her words but watched as she jabbed a finger in the chest of Chase, the captain, and turned to Wyatt and Pete and flapped her arms around as her mouth spat angry words.

After a minute they all turned and walked away, Chase holding his hands up guilty and shaking his head as the rest of the team jeered.  
Debby and Tommy walked back towards Josh, who stood ready to translate.

"Very nicely done,"  
"Thanks, can you ask if he's okay?" Debby shrugged off the compliment.  
*How are you? Did they hurt you?* Josh signed to the sophomore.  
*I'm fine, thank you to your girlfriend for stopping them*  
"He's alright, and he says thank you."  
"Okay good," Debby sighed with relief, smiling at the younger boy who looks up at Josh expectantly.

*I think she thinks she has super powers* Josh gestured to him.  
*Well she is my guardian angel*  
"Baby what's he saying?"  
"He said you smell."  
*I lip read that* Tommy signed with a grin.  
*Show off*

"Tell him that we're always going to be here to defend him, and he never needs to feel alone."  
*Is Batman still your favourite superhero?* Josh asked.  
*Of course! Have you read the new DC Batman issue yet?*  
*No, is it any good?*

"What did that mean?" Debby asked, looking perplexed by the two boys' hand movements.  
"He said that he's so grateful and he wishes he could repay you somehow."  
"Oh Tommy! You don't need to repay us! You're our friend and we're always going to have your back."  
*She's being soppy* Josh explained with an eye roll, causing Tommy to smile.

*You want to come play soccer with me tonight? She has cheer practice.*  
*Tonight I have basketball practice, but another day?*  
"Okay that was basketball! I know basketball!" Debby complained, copying the hand gesture poorly.

*Rumbled* Tommy grinned before laughing goofily.  
"Sorry?" Josh apologised with a guilty smile as Debby stuck her tongue out at both of them.

*I must go to class now anyway, thank you again*  
*Anytime, have a good basketball practice* Josh told the kid, picking up and giving him his bag as he smiled and waved bye to Debby.

"You guys are mean. One day I'm going to teach myself sign language and I'll understand all your conversations, then who'll be laughing?" She sulked as Josh pulled her into a hug.

 

 

"Hey," Josh smiled as he sat down at his biology bench next to Tyler.  
"Hi,"  
"How was your weekend?" Josh asked whilst he got out his folder and textbook.  
"Fine," Tyler replied timidly, not making eye contact.  
"Get up to much?"  
"Not really,"  
"I think I saw you at church on Sunday, your family at 5 14?"  
"Yeh,"  
"Well on behalf of everyone, welcome," he grinned at the new kid. "And we should totally sit together next week, get to know each other a bit better."  
"Um, I mean, if you want?"  
"Yeah, cool, consider it a plan. Oh and by the way the offer for Taco Bell with Debs and me is still on the table."  
"Um, okay-"  
"Alright class let's begin."

 

"Tyler," Josh whispered as Mrs Piper continued to speak about osmosis. "Tyler,"  
"Sorry, yeh," the other man said, lifting his head from his hands and turning to see Josh.  
"Can I borrow an eraser?"  
"Uh, yeah, okay, it's in there somewhere," Tyler answered, reaching his hand across the desk to get his pencil case. As he stretched, his hoodie pulled up to show an elastic band wrapped around his wrist. Josh didn't think anything of it as he took the case off Tyler and began searching for the tool.

As he rummaged through the array of pencils, his fingers made connection with a strange object and he pulled it out intrigued. He barely had a moment to see that it was a sharpener without its blade before Tyler quickly snatched it off him, fished out the eraser, and took his stuff back.

 

"Tyler, Tyler wait up!" Josh called out to Tyler as he saw him in the halls at the end of the day. He had practically sprinted out of biology as soon as the bell went, so Josh hadn't been able to ask him about the sharpener, but now was his opportunity.

"I'm busy, not now,"  
"Where you going? It's the end of the day."  
"I have basketball practice, please Josh, just get out of my way."  
"Oh that's lucky, I'm going to basketball too."

"You don't play," Tyler sighed as Josh walked alongside him.  
"Nope, but I sign."  
"What?"  
"There's a deaf kid, Tommy, and I'm like one of the only people who can sign. He told me he's going to practice tonight, so I'm going to come watch and I can translate anything the coaches say."  
"Look Josh I know that's an excuse because he copes fine every other day. I don't wanna do this, please,"

"Tyler just give me two minutes? Two minutes, that's all."  
"Fine," Tyler eventually caved, and stopped walking.  
"It's too busy here, come sit on the bleachers with me."

 

"Josh, whatever you're thinking, I need you to forget it. You've got the wrong end of the stick."  
"Tyler I know what I saw."  
"No, you saw a bit of plastic and immediately made a presumption about me." Tyler said quietly but sternly, snapping the band against his wrist aggressively.  
"Woah, Tyler, stop it." Josh said protectively, wrapping a hand on his wrist, covering the band and the now red skin with his fingers gently.

"I should go," Tyler decided, trying to stand up and walk away, but Josh maintained his grip on his wrist and kept Tyler stood close.  
"Sit down Ty, we agreed 2 minutes, then I promise I'll never bring it up again."

"Please let go," Tyler whispered as he sat down again.  
"Okay I will, and I'm sorry." Josh apologised, releasing Tyler's wrist, which immediately went back to getting an elastic band snapped against it.

"Look, Ty, I've known you, what? 4 weeks? And I understand if you don't want to tell me what's going on. But I don't need you to tell me why, you don't need to explain yourself to me or justify it or anything like that, I just want you to know that you're not alone. And I know how cheesy and cliche that sounds, but regardless hopefully it means something to you. We're never truly alone because God promised to never leave us or forsake us. The Bible says God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. He is there for you Tyler. You're the new kid and I imagine that's pretty scary and lonely as it is, let alone if you're dealing with, um, other stuff. But He's there."  
"I'm the new kid, or the basketball guy, or the quiet one. You're like the only person who knows my name."

"You see that kid down there? With the black hair and the orange sneakers?" Josh said, pointing.  
"Yeh,"  
"To everyone in this entire school he's the deaf kid, but to me? To me he's Tommy. He's Tommy who loves DC comics more than life itself, and one day dreams of going to Iceland to see the Northern Lights, and hates the crusts on pizza but loves them on bread. As in actually loves them, it's weird."  
"Yeah," Tyler smiled, stopping snapping the band.

"He's also the kid that my girlfriend asks me to sign 'You're not alone' to every single day. He can't hear her and she can't speak to him, but that simple action has had such a massive impact on him, I can't begin to explain. He used to be so down and ashamed of himself, but those words have turned him into a new person. And it's now at the point where I don't need to tell him everyday because he knows. Debby asks me to sign it and I usually end up saying something different, but that's because Tommy believes us now. He knows he's not alone, Debby has shown him that, because that's just what Debby does."  
"She sounds amazing,"

"She is amazing, she's the most accepting and warmhearted and caring individual I've ever had the pleasure to meet. And you know what? To some people, she's just the ginger cheerleader."  
"Yeah,"  
"The same way that I'm the punk, and you're the new kid. This school, they'll slap a label on anyone, that's easy. The hard bit is seeing that someone is so much more than a label, even if that someone is yourself."

 

 

As Josh laid on his bed twiddling a drumstick and watching X files whilst waiting for Debby to arrive, his mind drifted to the new kid. He immediately told himself off for calling Tyler that, knowing it upset him.

Tyler wasn't like any of Josh's friends that he'd known as long as he could remember, but for some reason he sorta liked him. Although they were both sporty, Tyler played the one sport that Josh didn't. He went to Church, only once a week compared to Josh's 4, but Josh didn't make a judgement; it was most likely a decision made because of logistics. And Tyler was way more shy than any of Josh's mates. But aside from that, Josh didn't really know him at all.

And yet when Josh thought about the bladeless sharpener and the raw skin under Tyler's elastic band, his stomach dropped.

Josh had never known anyone who felt negatively about themselves, which he supposed was partly down to his mother. When she heard at church that one of his close friends from middle school had been diagnosed with depression the year before, she had made it very clear to Josh that he was not to have anything to do with him. A sinner she had told him, a punishment from God she had told him, not the sort of person he should be around she had told him. And Josh wasn't one to disobey her, after all she only wanted the best for him.

He knew that Debby didn't have the same experiences as him, she even volunteered at a suicide hotline a couple of hours a week. But Josh respected her for it, and knew that volunteering and helping people was something his mom had always told him God would commend. And it wasn't as if she was sympathising with the condemned, she was merely guiding them to the right path.

The drummer decided he would ask his girlfriend if she had ever helped someone who hurt themselves so that he could help Tyler out. He'd never done it before but decided that he wanted to support Tyler, and hopefully get closer to him in the process. If anything would impress his mom and Debby and God then it would be that. Plus something about Tyler intrigued him, and he couldn't help but want to understand him better.

 

  
"Hey baby," Josh grinned as Debby walked into his bedroom, her permanent smile on her face and her hair tied up in a messy bun that was both effortless and perfect.  
"Hiya," she replied, kissing him quickly before setting her bag down and taking off his jacket she was wearing and hanging it on his desk chair.

"What's going on downstairs?"  
"With Jordan?"  
"Yeah," Debby nodded, sitting down next to him on the bed.  
"Mom caught him watching How I Met Your Mother so he's gotta sort out all the files for the church Autumn Retreat," Josh explained why his brother was taking up the whole living room floor with paperwork.

"I mean the jokes are a little questionable at times, but it's not that bad is it?"  
"The actor, Neil Patrick Harris, he's a homosexual,"  
"Ah," she sighed doubtfully, cuddling herself against his chest, "Well we wouldn't want Jordan getting infected with gayness through the screen would we?" The copper haired girl continued sarcastically.  
"Debs don't joke babe,"  
"Don't get me wrong J, I love your mom, but she isn't the most logical of people,"  
"She just cares about us a lot," Josh told his girlfriend, finding a place for his hand round her waist.  
"Yeah I know baby," she said before kissing him on the cheek.

"How was watching basketball? Did Tommy appreciate you being there?"  
"Ah you know what Tommy's like, he was absolutely fine, didn't need me once," Josh replied.  
"Yeah, but I'm sure just knowing you were there made him feel really good,"  
"Hopefully, how was cheer?"  
"Yeah it was a lot of fun thanks. We've still got a lot of work to do but I believe in every single one of them and I know we'll get there as long as we work together,"  
"Deborah Ann, my very own ray of sunshine," he smiled at her positivity before kissing her again. Even her lips tasted of happiness.

"Well you say that now, just you wait until tomorrow," she laughed once they broke apart.  
"That time of the month already?"  
"You bet it is,"  
"Don't worry, boyfriend of the year will be on hand with chocolate, aspirin and hot water bottles,"  
"Yanno one day I'm going to get you an actual trophy, engraved and everything,"  
"Duh, why else would I be doing this whole relationship-thingy?" Josh smiled back.  
"Thought the sex might have something to do with it," she smirked playfully.  
"Nah I'm here for the trophy, sex is just an added bonus." He laughed.

"Are you working on the hotline tomorrow night?"  
"J I just said I'm on my period tomorrow and you're already planning a hookup? Easy there tiger,"  
"No no, I'm genuinely interested in the hotline,"  
"Oh okay," she laughed. "Yeah I'm on 11 till 3am,"  
"Eeek, bad luck getting that shift,"  
"I chose it actually,"  
"Why? Do you just hate sleep or something?"  
"It's only for one night a week, and that's when people struggle the most," the cheerleader told him, playing with cross necklace on his chest.

"Do you think I could come? Learn the ropes?"  
"How come you wanna get involved all of a sudden?"  
"Remember that guy we bumped into at the mall the other day, the transfer basketball dude?"  
"Tyler?"  
"Yeah, well uh, I think he struggles like your people, your callers, so I was thinking I could learn how you guys help and then I can help him."  
"Baby it's not a one-size-fits-all; everyone is unique, we all struggle and respond to different things in different ways, it's only human."  
"But I wanna help,"

"Why don't you volunteer for a deaf charity? Helping out with people like Tommy, I mean you've done such a good job with him. And you could teach hearing people sign language," she suggested.  
"We both know it was you who helped Tommy, I was just a translator. I didn't really mean I wanted to do more voluntary work, my plate is kinda full with church, I meant I wanted to help at the hotline."

"Sweetheart don't get me wrong, I love you, but I don't know whether it's the right position for you."  
"How come?" Josh asked.  
"I think you're so so supportive and it's one of the things I love about you, but I wouldn't say you and your family have the most open of minds to different lifestyles,"  
"Yeah I do,"  
"Babe I probably talk to 3 or 4 members of the LGBT community every night, most of whom aren't Christian; could you honestly talk to them and help them calm down without letting your own views interfere with your advice?"

"Tyler's a homosexual, so that's proof that I'm fine with those people."  
"Okay firstly babe, don't call them 'those people'. And there's no need to be so formal, say gay, gay's not an insult if it's true."  
"Fine, Tyler's a gay, but I already talked to him a couple of times and there's nothing really wrong with him, like he's not going to kill me or anything,"  
"Who told you that he would? Your mom? Did she also say that he would be a radical satanist worshipping the devil rather than doing the biology project?"  
"No, it's just, you know,"  
"Tell me?"  
"They're bad people Deb," Josh told her, mouthing the word cautiously as if they were in the room, readying to pounce.

"She told you that didn't she?"  
"Doesn't make it wrong," he murmured.  
"They're not bad people Josh, God doesn't create bad people. How could something so positive as love trigger something so negative? Loving someone doesn't make you bad, no matter who they might be."  
"Hmm," Josh sighed.

"J I won't be mad or anything like that, if you wanna say something then I promise I'll respect it,"  
"I'm uh, I'm not saying Tyler or other homosex- gays, deserve to burn or anything extreme like that. But, I dunno, it's just not right. The Bible says you shall not lie with a male as with a woman, it is an abomination. Deb I can't just pick and choose which bits of the Bible I follow and which I don't. It's there to guide me, so I have to trust it entirely."  
"Okay I understand baby, but listen yeah? What is God? He is compassion. The Bible is a guide for compassion, for loving thy neighbour. Babe you gave this talk about compassion to your church youth group last week, I watched you reciting verse after verse. Psalm 147:3, Matthew 9:36, Luke 15:20, I could go on for hours. The Bible doesn't teach hate, it teaches love. Despite what your mom might tell you, there's no way God would want you to feel negatively towards anyone, regardless of gender or race or sexuality, yeah?"  
"Yeah," Josh sighed again.

"Look I'm sorry, this has sorta turned heavy pretty quickly. But baby, I'll always respect your opinion as long as it doesn't disrespect someone's existence."  
"Hmm,"

"I love you,"  
"I love you too," he told her, mind still racing.

"And you know what you were saying about Tyler? Did you mean he was struggling because he's gay, or did you mean he was struggling with something else?"  
"I meant something else too. I dunno what it is, it's just he's shy all the time, like I've known him for a month and he still won't look me in the eyes,"  
"He's probably still nervous about the change in school, or he might have anxiety or something,"  
"Yeah, well I dunno, I think it's kinda rude to be honest. Like we invited him out and he said yeah but then never called me."  
"It's anxiety babe, it's not his fault."  
"I think he hurts himself too. He kept pinging himself with an elastic band and I found the sharpener with no blade in his pencil case."  
"Right, well I'll talk to him okay? I'll see if he wants any help - it's not like we can force him,"  
"Thank you,"

"I'm proud of you J,"  
"Am I 6 years old again?" He laughed quietly.  
"No but I know this stuff is hard for you to talk about, you've got a lot of different people telling you a lot of different things and all those conflicting ideas have gotta be hard to get your head around. But if you ever need someone to bounce ideas off, no matter how silly they might seem, then I'm here,"  
"Thank you Debs,"  
"It's what I'm here for," she smiled.  
"Indeed,"  
"That and the sex,"  
"Don't forget the sex." Josh agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> So as the more observant may have noticed, this is a 2 chapter story :O my first of the series. I haven't actually written the second part, but would anyone like to read it? Basically I was planning on investigating Josh's own internalised homophobia a bit more. Would that be appreciated?


End file.
